To whom it may concern.

Hi. First of all, I didn’t like Batman because the movie’s dark the whole time. I haven’t finished any of the movies about Batman because I’m having a hard time watching it, but it didn’t mean it isn’t good. I gave you that rock as a souvenir and all that keychain,etc from Puerto Galera because I didn’t know what to give you at all. The moment you called me ‘bebe’, my world stopped. I was happy and anxious at the same time, if we really should have an endearment and I’m not sure how many items my exam was because you called me that again. I want to get serious, I really want to, but please bear with me with my eating and drinking sprees and by the way, I’m a morning person (well most of the time). I hope you did well in your exams too and I’m one of your motivations. Though I can’t focus on the lecture if you’re constantly texting me during class. I go wherever I want to and I do a lot of things during the day so I usually sleep early. But I had to study for my exams that’s why I ended up texting you just to be awake.

No one knows about it except for my bestfriend. Not that I’m shy or anything, I just want it to be private. You said you were serious but I was really skeptical about it. But one day I got sick then you insisted on having dinner with me even if it’s raining hard outside so I asked you to bring me some orange too. You walked in the rain, bought a different specie of orange and we had dinner. That night you told me some revelations about yourself that I didn’t expect, but I was happy you opened up. I knew then that you were really serious about everything. Then the next day you got sick so bad that I really wanted to come over but I was stuck in my bed trying to recover so I ditched the review school too.

Whenever I see a cockroach, I automatically scream and point them to you ’cause I know you’re scared of them even if you deny it. I didn’t buy you anything for your birthday because I was planning for something special. But you never went to see me that day. I had to wait the next day but all my plans already went to trash. It was the first time I had a picture of you, and I could just die then. You were one of the people keeping me sane before the big day, you knew what to tell me right then and there.

You made so many excuses I didn’t know what to believe when I asked you to come for my celebration dinner, until I got really mad. But I can’t stay any longer in Manila, waiting for you to see me, I have deadlines in my dorm too you know. I’m always careful don’t worry. I loved you too and I really hoped that you’re all mine. I understand your very limited time with me. I’ve been there, how can I not? Time is not on your side? Wow! I hope I had all the time too. But I didn’t recieve any text the whole day then you expect me not to get mad. How come you’ve done it before and not now? I know I’m far from Manila but that doesn’t mean you can’t contact me or whatever.

I don’t know how long I’ll be volunteering but I’m tired. It’s been 2 mos and of course you didn’t know. How could you? You haven’t even seen me for weeks. No I don’t want to believe what the people tell me. But every time you do something, you’re just proving them right. I really want to work this out too. And yes, I’m really disappointed that I work near Manila and you have time for other stuff but you didn’t have time to see me. And sometimes I feel like you don’t really love me back or maybe, at all.

I didn’t hide my birthday in fb this time ’cause I knew you were bad at remembering dates. I also wish you could see me soon too because you didn’t even dare surprise me or whatever even if it’s my birthday. I’m not alcoholic by the way, my colleagues just kept on asking us out and I couldn’t say no! My future’s at stake! I kept waiting for you to call but it has been days, then you’ll tell me I was not allowed to drink, etc. WTH! you do whatever you want so I will too!

I did hope for a better year with you. It was the only thing I was asking when the year started. But after that, everything just sloped down, I didn’t even realized time was up.

Do you really dedicate it to me? Even if I wasn’t even invited on your big day? Good thing I had home therapy scheduled that night that I didn’t had time to think about you and suck everything up. I still wish you a better future though, lots of food too. Even if now its only for you and not for us. And I love you, or loved at least, you know that. I just don’t know how to undo everything.


PS. These are answers to all the texts I’ve saved in my old phone. I just answered them all.

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